3 Times I was an Odd Child

Monday, 10 October 2016

I think I had a pretty normal childhood. Although I could at times be a slightly neurotic child that would later become a neurotic adult. For example when I put out the cutlery for dinner I HAD to make sure everyone had matching knives and forks. My reasoning for this was that if one person had odd cutlery they may think I poisoned them, and used a different style so I could tell what ones were the murder knives and forks. Now my anxiety comes from far less abstract worries, like saying hello too quietly to someone in work and worrying that they didn't hear and thought I was ignorant. But those are pretty dark examples so here are a few stories of when I was a weird kid.


When I was a kid my imagination would often get carried away with itself, imagining something was something else was one of the best ways to pass time. Like playing with a big cardboard box and pretending it was a spaceship, things like that. Well at some point I found out what the internet was and that it was going to be awesome and cool. I couldn't wait, the only problem was that we were still rocking a Windows 98 PC and I had no chance convincing my mum that 56k internet was a good investment. So I decided enough was enough, I was gonna make my own internet. I loaded up PowerPoint and got to work, making pages, click through links and content. But because I didn't have any way to get new images I just had to manage with what I had. Most of the pages were about The Simpsons because the only way I could get pictures was to print screen them from my copy of The Simpsons After Dark Screensavers (or use MSPaint). 


Now this may surprise you but at one point I wasn't the athletic supple god that I am now. In fact I was quite the opposite, my coordination was terrible (some may argue that it still is). Also I had a weird way of walking apparently. I used to walk with my feet turned inward and drag my feet. I still drag my feet that wont change, I just don't understand why I have to lift my feet up higher than I need to. But my mum thought she could do something about my feet turning inward. She used to have me practice walking up and down the hallway with my feet turned out. Not in an overbearing parent way just every now and then. It worked but I ended up swaying my hips in what got described to me as a "girly way". So then I had to practice getting rid of that but I think that was with limited success. I just can't help that my "hips don't lie".


I'm a quiet fellow, I don't make much noise and can blend into the background very easily. Sometimes however it can be a detrimental talent. This incident took place in primary school so I must have been about 7 or 8. A group of us were working on the floor doing some task or something. Little Gary was sat down with his knees bent under him and out of nowhere a foot stood on me. What had happened was a teacher put a footstool behind me to get something from a higher shelf, so when she stepped back off of it she stood right on me. I can't remember it hurting at the time but the teacher bust have felt really bad about it because she - in addition to apologizing profusely - made a sticker for me for being brave after being stood on. It was a nice gesture and looking back it was sweet that she felt like she had to do something like that for me. But the whole situation was pretty odd.

What are some odd things that happened to you as a kid?



  1. Oh my! The being stood on one!! 😂😂😂

  2. hahahhahaa sticker for getting stood on.
    Wheres my sticker for you kneeing me in the fanny?

  3. Haha the sticker thing is hilarious, and I love the part about making the fake Internet!

    I did some really odd imaginative things as a child, I used to go on our intercom that we usually use to speak to whoever has rung our doorbell and I pretended I was on a radio show so I'd just be singing and talking through the intercom all day. Lucky no one came to the door when I was doing it!